I'll take your mind off her
by itsfangirlfiction
Summary: Don't read if you don't like slash. Simon/Jay. Jay decides to take Simon's mind off Carli and things progress from there.
1. Chapter 1

**Simon/Jay Inbetweeners**

**Simon POV**

ZZZZZ...

I finally woke up and squinted at the clock. It took a few moments before the numbers registered and I sat bolt upright. Five to eight? Shit! Shit! Shit! I was meant to be at Carli's in fifteen minutes! At uncle Gareth's birthday party last week, I'd asked her if she wanted a lift to school on Monday. Originally, that had not been my intention, but when I started talking to her my words had got all jumbled up...

"Carli?" I'd said, my voice breaking. I rolled my eyes and inwardly scolded myself-"Don't you dare mess this up!"

"Yes Simon?" Carli had replied, smiling at me. God, she was so beautiful. Her eyes, her hair, her smile, just everything about her made me feel-well, a lot of things. Lust and anxiety and just a complete longing to be with her. I was lost in my own thoughts for a few moments before I remembered where I was.

"I was just wondering if, erm. I was just- I mean, you know I have a car? I wanted to know if you erm-"

That's when Carli had broke in. "Wanted a lift to school? Yeah, I'd love one. It's just y'know, me and Tom aren't on speaking terms and getting the bus isn't all that great.."

They'd been so much I wanted to say in that moment, but all my stupid mouth could force out was a little giggle and "ha, bus wanker!"

Luckily, despite looking a bit freaked, Carli didn't cancel our date for Monday (yes, driving to school does count as a date!)

And now, I'd gone and slept in! I chucked on the first clothes I found in the wash basket and raced downstairs. My stupid brother snickered when I walked in to the dining room, where he was sitting with mum. I turned on her.

"Why the fuck didn't you wake me up?"

"Language, Simon. You're old enough to take responsibility for getting up on time."

"Today is going to change my whole fucking life and you-argh! I don't know why you are like this sometimes!"

"Someone's a little stressed." My goddamn irratating little brother stated.

"You can fuck off too!" I told him. I leaned across the table and picked up a slice of toast from his plate. Then I rushed out of the house and to my car.

I made it to Carli's for quarter past. I pulled up on the pavement outside her house where she was waiting and she climbed elegantly into the car. " Hi Simon," she smiled.

"Hi beautiful," I replied, then realised what I'd said. "Oh shit, I was joking, I don't really think you're beautiful."

Carli looked a bit confused."So you think I'm ugly?"

"No, no!" I said frantically, trying to keep my eyes on the road. "Can we just-leave this behind? Change the subject?"

"Okay...What the fuck are you wearing?"

I looked down at myself and realised I was wearing a brightly coloured vest and three quarter length jeans. Both of which belonged to my brother.

"Oh shit..."

"And you've got butter on your nose."

My mind instantly went into overdrive at that, imagining Carli licking it off, then moving her lips down to kiss me...

"Pardon?" Carli said, looking shocked.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?"

Basically, the journey didn't go as planned. When we finally arrived at school, Carli raced away without even saying bye. I was so angry with myself as I walked into the common room.

"Morning benders!" I didn't bother to answer Jay's greeting. I didn't react to the sniggers that came then as they took in my clothes. "Well, you look...different!" was Will's first comment. Jay laughed at that, saying "Mate, he looks bent! More bent than Neil's dad!" Neil laughed for a moment, then realised what Jay had said. "Oi! My dad ain't bent!"

After a few minutes of relentless teasing, Jay changed the subject. "So, you didn't get to shag Carli in the yellow shitmobile then?" I sighed.

"No, I didn't. I fucked it up with her again."

"Bad luck mate," Will said, leaving the common room for first lesson. A minute later Neil left too, leaving only me and Jay. He looked at me and seemed to win some internal battle.

"How about we fuck school and go someplace to take your mind off Carli?"

"I-okay, yeah. That sounds great. What do you have in mind?"

So that's how I found myself drunk out of my mind two hours later, lying on the floor of Jay's living room. Empty bottles were scattered around us and Jay was laughing hysterically.

"See, this is fun, isn't it Si? You don't need that whats-her-face!"

I laughed along with him.

"More vodka?" Jay offered, his words slurred. I picked up the bottle and took a long swig.

"How about we play-a game?" I managed to say. Jay grinned at me and we began a game of Truth or Dare.

"You first," I said, pointing at Jay. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Okay..." I said. "Who do you fancy?"

"That's a baby's question," Jay laughed.

"Got to answer it though!" I said stubbornly, winking at the boy next to me, who was beginning to look strangely attractive. Must just be the light, I decided. I don't find boys attractive. That would make me gay-like Neil's dad. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Bad move. It made my head spin. Damn you vodka!

"No way, ask again!" Jay said, bringing me back to the present.

"Okay then. Why do you lie all the time?"

"Honestly?" Jay said, the atmosphere growing more serious.

"Honestly."

"Well, the truth is, it makes me feel better about myself. My dad makes me feel like shit and I just hate it y'know."

I moved my hand to rest on top of Jay's and we looked into each other's eyes for a few moments.

It was Jay who broke the silence. "Your turn now!" he yelled delightedly.

"Dare," I told him.

"Okay, I dare us to play spin the bottle." The open bottle of vodka was placed in between me and Jay and spun. The drink poured onto the carpet as we watched the bottle turn round and round.

"Wheee!" I grinned, my head spinning along with the bottle. It stopped, pointing at Jay.

"Guess I'm gonna have to kiss you then!" he said happily.

He leaned in as I leaned in, and our lips met in the middle. Our tongues fought for dominance and I felt like fireworks were going off in my stomach. I bit down on Jay's lower lip and was instantly turned on by his moan. My hands wove into his hair and I felt so so happy, like I had no troubles and that's when-

Jay's dad walked in.


	2. Chapter 2

"What the fuck is going on here?" Jay's dad spat at us. His eyes were popping out of their sockets in a way that would have been comical if we weren't in this situation and if Jay's dad didn't scare me so much. Jay was clearly terrified too, even more so than me, because his skin had turned a deathly shade of white. His dad directed his glare at him. "Wait, no, don't even answer that question. I can see perfectly well what's going on here. You're a pair of queers, that's what. All that time I thought the reason you weren't getting any gash was because of your tiny cock but really it was cause you were lusting over the thought of bumming men!"

Jay opened his mouth, then closed it again. After several attempts he managed to stutter out a few words. "I-we-we're drunk."

Jay's dad threw back his head and laughed. "You think I can't see that? There are bottles strewn across the fucking floor as well as some kind of fucking stain on the carpet! I don't even want to know what that's from but I unfortunately have quite a vivid picture! You might use the "I'm drunk" excuse to get out of this but it won't fucking work! As they say, drunk actions are sober thoughts. Or in this case, bum fucking a guy means that you're fucking gay!"

The words echoed in my head as the room began to spin faster. I was _really_ drunk. I looked over at Jay in time to see him open his mouth as if to say something and then be sick all over the carpet.

*The next day*

"Simon! Come downstairs right now! We need to have a word with you!"

I groaned at looked at the clock. 7 o clock. Wow. I had a killer headache. I must have been seriously drunk yesterday. What even happened anyway?

A flash of me and Jay drinking vodka. And me and Jay playing truth or dare. And me and Jay...doing something else? No, that couldn't be right. It must just have been my made playing tricks on me, I decided. I was seriously fucking hungover.

"SIMON!" That was mum shouting. She sounded angry. I dragged myself out of bed and groaned again. God, my head was throbbing.

A painful five minutes later (in those five minutes I managed to trip over twice and walk into the wall three times) I was stood before my mum and dad. The rant began.

"We're very disappointed in you Simon...bunking off school...getting drunk...expected more."

I wasn't really listening. The pain in my head was too distracting, plus it was seriously boring. I just tried to nod my head in all the right places and look remorseful.

"Simon, are you even listening? This is very important."

"Yeah, yeah, can I go now? It's just my head is really, really killing me right now."

My dad coughed awkwardly. "Well actually Simon, there is something else we wanted to say."

I nodded whilst sighing inwardly, preparing myself for another lecture.

My mum spoke first. "Well, Jay's dad told us what happened yesterday."

"Okay.." I replied, wondering where this was going.

"You know," mum continued, "about you kissing erm, you know who I mean."

"I kissed someone yesterday? Was it Carli? It must have been Carli! I better go and-"

"Don't play stupid with us Simon. We're not angry with you about it."

"What are you talking about?" I had an idea what they might have meant but I chose to push it away. I'd just imagined that, right?

"If you're going to continue to act stupid, then we're going to have to tell you. When you kissed Jay last night."

There was a splutter from the next room. We all ignored it.

That actually happened? Oh. But I was drunk, right? It didn't mean anything. Of course it didn't. But what about those fireworks I remembered feeling? That must have been the drink too, I decided.

"That was just the drink! I was drunk! We were drunk! God, you always make such a big deal out of things! Ugh!" I shouted, wincing.

Mum looked at me sympathetically whilst dad fidgeted awkwardly.

"Come on Simon, we're not angry. Honestly. Jay's dad told us exactly what happened. He said when he found you, you were only kissing but it seemed as if you'd been doing, erm, more."

"Only he said it using slightly more vulgar vocabulary," dad muttered.

I stared at them. No. That hadn't happened. We'd only kissed. Kissed because of the drink. Nothing more had happened...unless, unless I couldn't remember. But I wouldn't do that, would I? I'm not gay. And neither is Jay.

"Look Simon, we just wanted you to know we're fine with it. You don't need to be embarrassed."

"Yeah, just keep it on the down low a bit, don't erm, move so fast," dad chipped in.

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, OK!" And with that I went to get ready, trying to move slowly so I didn't cause any more pain to myself. I went over what my parents had told me in my head. I bet it didn't happen. Jay's dad probably made it up. Yes, I bet he did. To get at Jay he made up some bullshit story about me and Jay getting off with each other. I bet I just imagined the kiss, and by coincidence Jay's dad made up a story about it happening. I left for school feeling a bit happier, ignoring my stupid, twatty little brothers taunts.

When I got to the common room, I was almost fully convinced that nothing between me and Jay had happened and I sat down next to Jay, the only one there, and gave him a small smile.

"Feeling alright?" I asked him quietly.

He shrugged, awkwardly fiddling with his hands.

"Not really, we got through a lot of vodka yesterday, didn't we?"

"Yeah, I feel real rough too."

He turned and looked straight at me.

"How much do you remember from yesterday?"

I shrugged. "Well, we went to your house and drank vodka and played truth or dare, that's pretty much all that happened, right?"

Jay opened his mouth, then closed it again.

"I- yeah, that's all that happened. Had a pretty good time, didn't we?" he said eventually, accompanied by a small, tight smile.

"Yeah, you definitely took my mind off Carli anyway!" I grinned wider this time, any earlier doubts about what happened totally gone. Jay's just a totally straight guy who was trying to be a good friend.

"That was the aim mate," Jay replied, "you need to move on from her and go for some new-some new clunge and stuff!"

It was then that Will and Neil entered the common room.

Will grinned. "Hey, where were you two yesterday? Out getting imaginary "clunge"? Having a threesome with Neil's dad? Bumming each other behind the bike sheds?"


End file.
